Three Kids and a Dog

Monday, December 14, 2015

My Life as a SAHM

I never knew what SAHM meant until last year when I became one. So for those of you who don't know it means Stay at Home Mom. I've been an SAHM for a little over a year now. And, I never thought I would want to be a SAHM. In fact, why would I work so hard, get my master's degree and build a career if that's what I was planning once I got married? The point is I never planned it. My kids went to a great all day Montessori school from age 3 months on and we felt like they were getting a great education in practical life skills, socialization and many other things that I felt that I couldn't just teach them being a SAHM. But the older my kids got the more difficult it became to work full time and the more they realized that I wasn't there.

Some people think that I became a SAHM because I just had my third child and it seemed like that may have pushed me to stay home more but in reality it was my oldest child and all the years that come after that I did it for. Austen was getting into more sports and after school activities that if I had him in an 8-5pm school he would miss out on that. I had a nanny for the first year that we lived in the suburbs so he could participate in practices after school but I wanted to be the one that drove him and/or picked him up. I wanted to car pool with other moms and really know who their friends were and that only comes from having them over for play dates or listening to their conversations in the car. I wanted to be the one to help my kids with their homework so I would know exactly what their strengths were and where they tended to struggle. I wanted to be the one who comforted them or who got to them first when an emergency arose. I wanted them to know I wasn't so far away from them if they needed me at a moment's notice. In fact, about a month before I left my job, Austen broke his arm at school. His teacher recounted the story to me later where she had said not to worry that she would call me. At that Austen had basically broken done crying saying "But my mom works in the city, she can't come get me." Even though Tom and I always made a point of one of us working close to our kids' schools, it still broke my heart that he needed me and I was so far away. (Tom actually made the 10 minute drive from his office to get Austen that day.)

So do I miss it? The work. No. The people. Yes. But, I still get to do communications for my kids' school parent teacher organization and it's a lot less hours and on my schedule, thankfully. I get paid in being part of a great school and meeting many other wonderful parents who have diverse backgrounds, and also seeing my kids' teachers when I am in and out of school. There's a lot to be said for those 5 minute conversations. That's for sure.

I feel like I am exactly where I should be at this point in my life and although some days are hard (I've always said even when I was working that being a SAHM is a hard job and now I know for sure!), I'm not going to lie. But I am so glad that I made the decision to be a SAHM (and my husband supported me). After all, I got to spend the whole last year of Adler's life with her every day. For that I will be forever grateful.


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